So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So squirting runs in the family.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
