It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
