i just had sex bonerless
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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