This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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