in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
