I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
