My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
