I wish I could teleport
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
