Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
