you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
