I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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