I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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