The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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