i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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