I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
