Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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