do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
