What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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