I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
