It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
