were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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