They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
