i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
