I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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