Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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