apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This baby is an asshole
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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