All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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