After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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