it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
