you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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