Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
