question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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