So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
