i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
