I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
