Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
