she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
