Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
