His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Shame - the story of my life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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