I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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