Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
