i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
