Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
