wakey wakey hands off snakey
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
