she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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