You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
