my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
