he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
