Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
