I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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