Apparently you make a good broom.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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